


For himself

by Ellana42



Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:55:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29562225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellana42/pseuds/Ellana42
Summary: Alec has had enough of living for others, but he cannot walk away from his old life alone. Fortunately, a handsome and very powerful warlock seems to have burst into his life just at the right moment.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 8
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys ! This is my first publication ever, I hope you enjoy it. I'm not a native speaker, so there will undoubtedly be mistakes, please be kind enough to point them out so that I can correct them. Have a nice read !

Alec knew he was badly injured. He could not move his legs and felt the blood gushing out of his side. He wasn't really in pain anymore. His body had shut down too far for him to feel much of anything. But he knew he was not going to get our alive if he did not hide, and fast. His last drops of adrenaline, his barely hanging survival instincts took over and he managed to crawl behind a dumpster. It was not much but it lulled him to a sense of security. He closed his eyes. His chances were slim. There was no denying that. But Alec didn't have too many regrets. He was going to die doing his job, as he had expected. Izzy and Jace were safe, he had made sure of that. And it felt like enough. There wasn't much more to his life than his siblings and his work anyway. He was fullfilling everything his duty was asking of him in this instant. He was sad he would not live to see Jace and Izzy grow old, but he had also done his duty as a big brother. They were all grown up now, and knew to take care of each other. Somehow he wasn't even that worried for them anymore.

In spite of everything, tears were welling in his eyes and drippling on his cheeks. Maybe letting go was more difficult than he thought. He felt empty and this emptiness was eating at his peace. There was regret hidden behind his life of duty. Regret he did not recognise because it had never come to the surface. But his life was seeping away, every breath felt weaker than the last and his walls were crumbling. It wasn't enough anymore to be a soldier and a brother. There was not enough life and beauty in these roles anymore. Alec was seventeen and he was going empty into the void, because somehow duty wasn't enough anymore. He wanted to scream, of rage and hopelessness, and hurt. He managed a whimper that made his vision go black.

That's how Bane found him. He let the barely audible cry guide him to the back alley. He almost stumbled on the body of the young shadowhunter collapsed of the back of the dumpster. His breath was a rauque, chilling sound. His clothes were damp with dark blood, and a rivulet was seeping from his lips. But of this moment, Bane would retain the picture of his face, eyes closed towards the sky, cheeks littered with tears and anguish. Alec was so terribly sad and beautiful, it made Bane's breath hitch in his throat.

It took a few seconds for the shock to ebb away and urgency to strike. He wanted to protect the young, barely breathing body at his feet. He needed to save him more than he needed to breath himself. His mind was screaming to wash away the pain from the young man's features. Bane got to his knees, and took gently Alec's lifeless body in his arms. He opened a portal behind himself, and disappeared from the alley, leaving nothing but blood stains behind.

***

Bane felt blood seeping into his shirt as he lowered Alec's limp body in his couch. He immediatly ripped open the shadowhunter's jacket, to reveal a deep gash that tore apart the young body. He did not need to touch the wound to feel the powerful demonic energy behind it. 

He had trouble reconciliating the pale, weak, teenager he was holding with the evidence that he had been fighting a greater demon before, and somehow had survived the encounter. He understood a little better when he put his hands on Alec's chest. He could feel the fine wiring of muscle behind his palms. But what struck him was the sheer power emanating from the young man's skin. This was not the first time Bane had healed a shadowhunter and he had expected some strenght to reveal itself against his own demonic touch. Alec radiated more energy than he had ever seen in a shadowhunter, let alone in someone so close to death. 

But Magnus couldn't afford to be mesmerized. Alec had started spasming under his hands. He took a deep breath, closed and opened his golden eyes, now focused. Power came forth from every inch of his body, into his palms. He let it invade the wounded shadowhunter's body, and winced. The opened wound was far from being the only one. Both of Alec's legs were broken, and his organs were bruised from the fight. 

But already, Magnus' magic was pouring over every inch of flesh and skin, and mending as it went. It was difficult for the warlock not to feel euphoria as his strenght bathed the young stranger's body, bringing him back to life with every second. It was always the danger with magic: the more difficult and meaningful the task, the deeper the exhaltation. But Bane had been wielding it for centuries now, and knew better that to revel in his own strenght. Instead, he focused everything he had in the healing process. It was somehow getting more difficult as the most threatening injuries got under countrol. The young man's body was a maze of half healed wounds and small injuries. There was burnt flesh were he had carved runes, pulled muscles in his arms and legs, and bruises, everywhere. So much pain. 

Even as he felt the flow of power recede, and strain his body, Magnus kept pushing. It took him a few seconds to understand how he had poured so much in so little time. In addition to the fight, the shadowhunter had not slept in days, and carried years of exhaustion that Magnus' magic was desesperately trying to compensate. It took him his last drops of energy and volition to let go of Alec, and let himself slip to the ground. He was drenched in cold sweat and the room was spinning, but, on the couch, Alec's chest was rising and falling regularly.


	2. Chapter 2

Alec opened his eyes a few hours later. He felt impossibly tired, but the pain had quieted. He fumbled for his side, finding that his jacket, as his wound, were gone. He should have been somewhat panicked, not recognising the walls of the infirmary around him. But a strange peace filled him instead. The only sounds were these of a shower running and of the streets outside. It was nighttime, and a cosy light bathed the living-room of what seemed to be a beautiful brick walled apartment. A tiny cat was sleeping in the ottoman in front of him. Alec knew he should be cautious, and flee this unknown hideout before whoever was in the shower realized he was awake. He just couldn't bring himself to. He was so tired and, besides, he hadn't felt that safe in a long time. He closed his eyes, still aware of his surroundings, and rested. After a while, the shower stopped, and he opened his eyes again. He tried to lift himself to a sitting position, so not to be completely defenceless when the stranger would enter the room. The movement awoke the pain and he muffled a moan. Not well enough though, because in seconds ringed hands were on his arms, pulling him gently so to slip a cushion behind his back. 

"You shouldn't move, I did what I could but you'll be sore for at least a few days."

The stranger was a tall, copper skinned man, who's eyes made Alec shiver. He did not feel the bone-deep fear demons generally inspired. Rather, the depth of the stranger's amber eyes filled him with awe.

"You're a warlock ? Aren't you ?"

The confident gaze faltered for an instant, and the hands left his arms. 

"Yes. Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

The man's pupils, golden a second before, had become dark.

"No, no. It's fine. I was just guessing. Thank you, you obviously healed me and probably saved my life."

***

When he started hearing evidence of the young shadowhunter waking up, Magnus realised he had not completely thought this through. He had more or less abducted one of the Clave, and had settled him in the middle of his apartment, mistakes he was supposedly centuries too old to make. He wasn't generally too fussy about breaking the Accords, and knew how to defend himself and his home. But Magnus felt ... nervous. He had been so focused on making sure the young man would wake up, that he had not thought about what would happen then. Was he going to flee ? To fight ?

His interrogations were cut short by a stifled moan that had him rush with no second thoughts to his patient. He put carefully his hands on Alec's arms and back, to settle him in a more comfortable position. The teenager was burning up, his skin hot and clammy under his palms. 

The first question took him by surprise, until he realised he had not glamoured his eyes. He reprimanded himself internally for that mistake. He was trying to put the young shadowhunter at ease, not scare him into fleeing the apartment injured. But, weirdly there was no fear in Alec's eyes. Just surprise and a hint of ... wonder ?

He wasn't expecting Alec's gratitude, so he deflected it :

"Simply trying to be a good samaritan."

He winked. The shadowhunter looked ... surprised to say the least. He was staring at Magnus as if he had just grown a full limb. 

"Joke. It was a joke. Sorry, I shouldn't have, I know your kind is not fond of those. You tend to be so ... literal about everything."

"My bad sense of humour aside, how do you feel ?"

Alec seemed to think for a moment before answering : 

"Hmm, compared to earlier, alright I guess. It kind of feels like I've been hit by a bus, though."

"That's not far from the truth, just looking at your injuries. If the bus had had a lot of demonic energy in store. Do you mind if I take a look at you ?"

"No, go ahead" said Alec, blushing. He seemed somewhat panicked when Magnus started putting his hands on his chest and warned : 

"You'll feel my magic, but it shouldn't hurt"

***

Bracing himself for the sensation, Alec wasn't ready for the calming warmth that seeped into his body from Magnus' palms. He relaxed into the touch, and found himself staring guiltily at the warlock's focused expression. He noted for the first time that the man was wearing light but colourful makeup. He cringed with envy. Himself didn't care much for appearances, and therefore makeup, but it represented the kind of freedom Clave soldiers would never be given. Shadowhunters were not meant to be beautiful. They were not meant to be colourful. And, most of all, they were not meant to gaze at other men. 

The warlock seemed to have taken the cringe as a sign of pain and now was tracing the outline of the wound that used to be on Alec's side with his fingers. 

Alec couldn't help thinking about the softness of the warlock's touch. He was not used to the care he was pouring in every gesture. Before he could stop himself, Alec asked : 

"What's your name ?" and rallying himself : "I mean if that's alright ?"

His voice was hesitant, but his eyes were strangely determined.

***

"Bane. I'm Magnus Bane.

\- You're the High Warlock of Brooklyn"

The teenager looked flustered by this information. Magnus could easily imagine why. He had been opposing the Clave for decades. His existence was merely tolerated by shadowhunters, and again mostly because they knew it would take all their resources to find and imprison him.

However, the teenager seemed to muster himself:

"I'm Alexander, but everybody calls me Alec. Nice to meet you."

He offered this answer with a hesitant smile, as if he was nervous how Magnus would react. The warlock noticed the lack of last name in this introduction, but didn't make much of it. It was natural for the young shadowhunter to be weary of him. 

"Nice to meet you too, I'm really glad you're feeling better.  
\- I'm sorry I bothered you. Thank you for finding me, I'm not sure I would have made it if you hadn't.  
\- There's really no need to thank me. I wouldn't have taken you in if it had bothered me."

Alec was fidgeting, seemingly to try and get up.

"What exactly do you think you're doing ?  
\- Hmm, ... leaving ? I don't want to be a burden, you've already done so much for me.  
\- Whether you are a burden is up to me Alexander. Besides, you're absolutely not fit to go anywhere in this state."

Alec usually hated when people called him by his full name. His nickname was one of the only things he had ever chosen for himself, and he was attached to it. But under Magnus' tongue, it felt right. Almost suave. So Alec did not correct him. 

In addition, Magnus was right, moving and talking had Alec feel so weak he had to close his eyes for a moment. He felt the blood pounding at his temples. His whole body hurt, especially his side.

"I'm going to make sleep, alright ? Your body needs rest more than anything I can offer."

Alec nodded, and felt himself fall unconscious almost instantly.


	3. Chapter 3

When he woke up, everything was dark. He wasn't lying on the couch anymore, it felt more like a bed. He had been tucked carefully under covers. He pushed himself up, and winced. The pain was still there, but it was much better than it had been the night before. He let his eyes adjust to the dark, and took in his surroundings. He obviously was in a bedroom. Alec thought at first that he had been moved to a guest room, but it seemed too messy to be one. There were clothes all over the place, and the bedside table was full of pictures. What if he was in Bane's bed ? The thought had him squirm in embarassment. He almost did not notice when the door opened quietly.

"Alec ? Are you awake?" murmured Magnus.

He was standing in the entrance, lookng discheveled and exhausted. He was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt with 'I'm getting BI' written in bold letters.

"Hmm, yes. Sorry, did I wake you up ?

\- It's not your fault. I felt it when the sleeping spell wore off. Are you okay ?  
\- I'm fine, much better than earlier at least."

Alec looked flustered enough for it to be noticeable, even in the darkness.

"I'm sorry I drove you out of your bed."

Magnus rubbed his eyes with one hand.

"Please stop apologizing. I put you here because the matress is much better than the one in the guest room. You know Alexandre, I'm not one to do something when it bothers me. And I'm not sure you realize how badly you were injured. I wasn't sure you were going to make it."

"Do you think you can go back to sleep ?

\- Yeah, I guess so. I don't think I've ever felt so tired.

\- Makes sense. I'll see you tomorrow then, sleep well Alexander."

As Magnus closed the bedroom door, Alec felt a wave of magic wash over him, taking away pain and worry alike. He felt asleep almost instantly."

***

When he next woke, it was to a pleasant coffee aroma. He pulled himself out of the bad, surprised but grateful that his body allowed it. He was in his trunks, which made him suddenly very much aware that the warlock had stripped him of his clothes before carrying him into bed. Mercifully, he had though things through and a pile of clothing sat neatly folded on the other side of the bed, contrasting sharply with the heaps of clothing scattered around the room.

Magnus was in the kitchen, busying himself with coffee and bagels. He did not need to turn to notice Alec's presence.

"I made breakfast !" He announced, sounding very excited, and quite proud of himself. "I usually summon takeout, but I thought you could use a homemade meal.

\- Thanks, you didn't have to do that."

To that, Magnus answered with a scowl, and Alec felt himself flushing as he was handed a plate full of scones and a steaming mug, and ordered to eat as much as he could.

***

Magnus definitely should have felt threatened. He had a powerful stranger, freshly healed and strolling in his living-room, while his own magic was exhausted.

Now that Alec wasn't dying, he did not resemble a frail teenager anymore. Everything in his body screamed power, and his posture was one of a soldier. But every time Magnus looked at Alec's face, and his bright blue eyes, all he could see was gentleness and vulnerability.

Alec was looking at his breakfast as if it was the most marvellous thing in the world, and sneaking glances at Magnus that the warlock had trouble interpreting.

At last, he looked up :

"I need to go back to the Institute, they must be looking for me everywhere.

\- Of course. I'm sorry I can't portal you there. But I'll call you a taxi though."

Magnus knew he should let go. Being involved in shadowhunter affairs was always trouble. Besides, it would not do Alec any good to be linked to such an infamous warlock as himself. But, Magnus was intrigued. He wanted to understand this strange man, with a body groomed for destruction, and eyes full of love and sadness. The urge from last night hadn't receded as Alec had gotten better. He wanted to heal Alec, and sweep the sadness from his eyes. And so he asked :

"Would you like ... maybe ... to come back someday ? It's a shame we met under these awful circumstances."

Alec looked somewhat relieved, and offered Magnus a bright smile.

"Sure, Magnus. I'd love to come back.

\- You can whenever you want. And if you ever need ... I don't know ... more saving, don't hesitate to call me."

Alec looked embarrassed at the thought but said yes nevertheless before cleaning his plate and heading towards the door.

"Goodbye Magnus.

\- Goodbye Alec, take care."

On these words, Alec turned around and started jogging away from the apartment.


	4. Chapter 4

The minute Alec entered the Institute, Izzy launched herself at him, and he pulled her into a hug. 

"I though you were dead ..." she whispered. Her eyes were red and she looked like she hadn't slept in days. 

"I'm fine Izzy, I'm sorry it took me so long to come back.  
\- What happened ?  
\- I got badly injured, but a warlock found me. He healed me."

Alec was interrupted by the realization that they weren't alone in the hall anymore.

"You let a warlock heal you !  
\- Well, I did not really have a choice at the time."

Alec's tone had gone flat, as it always did when he spoke to his mother. Her eyes were stern, but Alec knew her enough to discern worry in her expression. 

***

He spent the next few days getting checked by Clave appointed doctors and even a Silent Brother. They were unanimous in reporting that whoever had healed Alec had done a great job. The most competent of them were even dumbfounded by the scale of what Magnus had done in just a few hours. If they suspected who was behind the spells, they said nothing of it. 

After that, Alec's life sort of came back to normal. He trained, went on missions, and collapsed in bed exhausted in the early hours of the morning. That's when things were a little different. Rather than passing out after staring at the ceiling for what seemed hours, or getting back up to train while everyone was asleep, he crumbled and uncrumbled the small piece of paper that Magnus had slipped in his pocket. He never called though.

Alec had always been wary of the moment before bed, when his anxiety got the better of him, and his fantasies seemed unstoppable, making up things he could never reach. But, since the attack, it had gotten worse. He was thinking of Magnus. Of his voice, gentle in his ear, of his eyes, infinite pools of hazel and gold, and of his hands, touching his arms, and resting on his abdomen ... He dreamt these hands were caressing his chin, pulling him into an embrace. In these moment, he would have done anything to feel Magnus' arms around him. 

But then, reality creeped back : "You're a stupid boy with a stupid crush. On a man you could never have. How pathetic.". He felt horribly guilty for letting himself have these fantasies. He knew he couldn't be a shadowhunter and be with a man. His whole world had made sure of he was aware of that well before he even knew what a crush was. And being a shadowhunter was everything. It was a duty, an honor, the only source of power and virtue. The only thing he could ever be proud of. 

So he usually did not let himself be a stupid boy, and he buried his crushes as deep as he could. But this one was insistent. And his guard was down. Ever since waking up on Magnus' couch, he had felt raw and vulnerable at times, depressed at others. He couldn't pinpoint what it was, but his work which had always been the backbone of his life, didn't keep the emotions at bay anymore. 

Most nights, the mix of shame and fear got so bad that he didn't fall asleep at all. He was increasingly on edge during the day, and it soon got to a point where even Jace, dumbass, egocentric, adorable Jace, noticed. But neither his attentions, nor Izzy's helped at all. If anything, they made Alec feel even more guilty and undeserving for not being able to suppress the small part of him that wanted to leave, forever.

***

Alec was bound to break at some point. It happened about three months after he had come back to the Institute.

His mother had been away on business for several days, which had somewhat alleviated his mood. But when she came back, she was carrying news.

She summoned him to her office late on the day she arrived. Alec was coming back from mission, and couldn't wait for the day to be over. He had been injured during his last assignment, but preferred getting the discussion over with before he handed himself to the somewhat brutal care of the Institute's healers. Fortunately, his mother had always been to the point. 

"I think we should wait for spring to announce your engagement. But if you really prefer it, we could do it as early as next month."

Alec stared at his mother in utter shock.

"My ... What ???"

Maryse was always going on about prospects and eligible heiresses. Alec had made a point of never showing any interest. He had genuinely thought she would let go after a while, and hadn't imagined for a second that she would engage him off without his consent. He felt panic rising in his chest as he reviewed all the ways he could justify reversing the engagement to his mother. He considered actually accepting for a second, but his gut twisted so violently at the thought, he mustered the courage to answer :

"I'm sorry mother, I can't get married to a stranger like that. I have never met this girl. And besides, I need to focus on work ...

\- That's not possible" his mother cut him off. "Everything has been arranged, why do you think I've been working so hard. I can't break my word like that. Don't worry, Lydia is a lovely girl, and she won't distract you from work if you don't let her. Be grateful for once !"

That last sentence managed to turn the fear in Alec's gut into exasperation and anger. 

"I am nothing but grateful for the opportunities you've given me. But I'll not be marrying this girl. Period."

His tone had gone from pleading, to icy.

"Alec you don't have a choice. If you don't have a suitable spouse, you'll never be given the Institute. God knows Izzy won't get it. You're the only one who can keep it in the family. We'll be ruined if you don't man up and live up to your responsibilities."

Alec was silent with rage, which she mistook for some sort of contrition.

"Maybe I shouldn't be surprised. This would not be the first time you let us all down."

That last sentence drove him past his snapping point.

"Yes mother. I am a disappointment. I'll always be a disappointment. Because you know what ? I'm gay ! That's why I refused to become Jace's parabatai, and that's why I won't marry any of the Alicante socialites you can find me."

Alec had not realised he had shouted. He had not meant for any of the words he had said to come out of his mouth. But he had said them. The words he had never spoken aloud, that he could barely stand thinking for himself were out. And of all the people he could have told them to, he had chosen his mother.

Maryse was livid. She was looking at him in disbelief, that quickly morphed into rage. 

"Get out ! Get out of my Institute and never come back !"

She was clenching her desk, her knuckles turning white. 

"Yes mother." Alec said before leaving the room. Somehow, all his feelings had evaporated with his declaration. He felt empty, numb. Mechanically, he got up the stairs to his room, fetched his backpack, and carefully avoiding every living soul, walked out of the Institute.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't wait to post it, so there's the start of chapter 5 ! I'll try and finish it this weekend so you can get the rest of it soon :) Don't worry I wont torture Alec forever ^^

Alec felt utterly lost. He was numb to what had just happened, but once out of the Institute, he realised how stranded he was. He did not have any friends, any family out here, not even acquaintances. The downworlders he had met on mission for the Clave had - with good reasons - never been friendly.

For a minute, he thought about calling Magnus. But the warlock owed him nothing. He had been kind to Alec, and in return had been ignored. Alec had had not intentions of ever contacting him before tonight. How could he have, when even looking at the man felt like sin ?

So Alec wandered. He let his feet take him to Takis, a downworld diner, and allowed himself a cup of coffee. But soon they closed and he found himself back on the streets. He tried to sleep for a bit but gave up. Then, he started running. He needed, somehow, to calm down or he would never be able to rest. He did not think about a destination. He just ran, because he had spoiled everything, because he was alone and because he couldn't sleep.

When he stopped, he was before Magnus' apartment. He had not meant to go there. He allowed himself to sit on the porch anyway and rest for a bit. It was nearly four in the morning, and the street was deserted. He would try and settle down a little here, and leave before morning.

The run had cleared his mind, and left it wide open for the realisation of what he had done to hit. In a sentence, he had lost his family, his home and his career. It seemed a hard bargain for the fleeting relief of voicing his feelings. Maybe in the morning he would feel some kind of exaltation, a glimpse of freedom and hope. But, right at this moment, in the dark of the night, he just wanted to grieve.

***

Magnus was coming back from his club, drunk and tired, when he stumbled upon Alec, curled up on his porch. It took him a few seconds to gather his thought and recognise the young shadowhunter.

"Alec ? What are you doing here ?"

Alec lifted his head from between his arms, and looked up at Magnus. He looked wrecked, eyes red and slightly shaking.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come. I'll leave you alone."

He started getting up, and Magnus couldn't help ut notice the weariness plaguing his movements. He bashed himself for the harshness of his reaction and tried to offer Alec his warmest smile, as well as his hand.

"Come on, you've made it here. At least let me make you a cup of coffee."

Alec looked hesitant, but after a few seconds, he nodded, offering a tentative smile to Magnus. He let himself be let up the stairs.

Upon entering the apartment, Magnus promptly kicked off his shoes and let his jacket fall down in the entrance. Gesturing towards the living room, he told Alec to make himself at home.

While Magnus busied himself in the kitchen, Alec took a few hesitant steps inside, before settling on one of the counter stools. Magnus couldn't help but stealing a few glances at him. He had waited for Alec to manifest himself for weeks after the incident. He had known how very unlikely it was for the young shadowhunter to want to have anything to do with him, but the memory of Alec's warm smile had given him hope. Nevertheless, the call had never come. He did not know how to feel at this sudden reappearance. Part of him was glad to get a new chance at meeting Alec. At the same time, the sadness in his eyes had deepened, and seemed to swallow the young man whole. And the fact that he had found him on his porch at four in the morning made Magnus suspect that something was very, very wrong.

He put a steaming mug in front of Alec, who accepted it with a half-smile. His features were beyond tired, and Magnus wondered if he shouldn't put off explanations, and offer Alec the guest room. The young man looked shaken though, and a mix of curiosity and worry was eating at Magnus, so he asked :

"Something happened. Do you mind telling me about it ?"

At this, Alec looked down. He seemed ashamed, and a little broken. But his trust in Magnus must have been enough, since he started to answer :

"I got kicked out of the Institute. I didn't know where to go. I didn't mean to come here at first, but I kind of couldn't help myself. I'm sorry, I though you'd be gone by morning and you'd never even know ...

\- It's fine", cut Magnus.

"I told you you could call me. I thought it would be more convenient than showing at my doorstep, but it doesn't mean I'm not glad you did. Even at four A.M."

He hesitated a moment before continuing :

"Why did they kick you out ? I mean, you really don't have to tell me, but I've never heard of a shadowhunter being simply evicted without having their runes stripped."

Magnus regretted his words the second he uttered them, because Alec's hand jumped to his bear arms, running along them as if to check that his runes were, indeed, still there.

He was beautiful in his despair, his long, dark locks falling messily around his face, his deep blue eyes wandering behind Magnus, lost in thought.

"I guess telling you won't screw things up more than I already did ... I had an argument with my mother. I was so tired, and angry you know, I really hadn't meant to say anything ..."

Alec took his head into his hands, rubbing his eyes and hiding them from Magnus gaze.

"I told her I was gay." He exhaled. "And she told me to never come back."

Something snapped in Magnus chest, empathy flooding him and making his throat ache. Alec was looking back at him know, hesitant and pleading. In truth, he looked fucking terrified. In a few strides, Magnus was at his side, and clutched his arms around Alec, holding him lightly but firmly.

"I'm sorry"


End file.
